I just turned 64 years old a month ago. Where has the time gone? It seems like only yesterday, I attended my older sisters’ wedding. She now has two grown daughters with children of their own. I never thought I would be looking in the mirror at a 60-something year-old woman staring back at me and asking am I prepared for this next chapter of my life.
I have never been comfortable sitting idle. I’ve always set goals for myself and am proud to have accomplished most of them. I don’t mean to sound like I’m bragging. It’s just that I have led an intentional life until now. Sure, there have been forks in the road and I’ve had my share of struggles including divorce, living with ADHD, coming out at 40, and most recently being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disorder.
As someone whose self-esteem directly correlates to my success as a journalist, TV producer, advertising and marketing consultant, and magazine publisher. I find myself in virgin territory and I don’t have a clue what my life is going to look like from now on.
I worked hard my entire life to be an independent, self-sufficient woman and saved as much money as possible to retire and enjoy my “golden years.” I had fantasized about investing in rental properties, hiking in the Outback in Australia, cruising in Alaska, and taking a 6 month trip to Europe.
I never imagined that I would have a neurological disorder that would slowly take away my mental and physical health.
On my last appointment with my neurologist, she strongly suggested I get “my affairs” in order while I am still able to make clear and rational decisions. The expression on my face must have conveyed my thoughts to my doctor who quickly added, it’s impossible to know when your symptoms will get worse. Just live your life and continue your meditations, exercise and try to stay positive.
I think this is great advice for anyone struggling with mental illness, a life threatening disease, or uncertainty about the future. So today, tomorrow, and the day after that I’m not going to focus on what I’m losing. Instead I’m going to think about all that I am grateful for and live each day as best that I can.
By Candace Schoner, writer, mental health advocate and host/producer of Speaking Candidly with Candace